Life as an 18 year old teenager

People always tell you about how hard situations can be when you get older and they tell us of all the things that have happened to them with friends and drugs and sex, etc. But it doesn't actually sink in until their words actually become reality.

Throughout the years i've never had to deal with these above mentioned situations, but as i've turned 18 i've started to see an extreme shift in the teens around me. Around me each and every day are people swearing, and to be honest it's quite difficult to get away from. I have best friends getting high every other weekend, friends who used to be close that are having sex with their boyfriends and, actually, a heap of other people who don't even mean anything. The amount of people having sex at my age scares me, it actually blows me away because of how shocking it is. Drugs seems to be the "in" thing at the moment, i'm pretty sure at least half of my year at school has experimented with drugs or at least just tried it. Alcohol is one of the most realistic things i'm exposed to at my current age--now that my friends are turning 18 and are legally allowed to drink, their values, innocence and integrity have gone out the window. People who always vowed they'd never get into that sort of stuff are now bragging about how much they drank and how many times they threw up (very attractive...).

All i want is to be a good girl; innocent and clean.

Where did the respect go

Even though it's accepted in this world for guys not to respect girls, it's not cool. Just because everyone does it, doesn't mean it's ok.

I love you so much that i respect you. I respect the decisions you make, as well as the situation you're in with your family. I make you lunch everyday freaking day, i give you massages when you want them (even though i'm not that fond of giving them), i always say thank you, i write you letters expressing my appreciation for everything you do. I do so many things for you and you can't even say "thank you"--two simple words--let alone "wow baby, look how amazing you are, you made me such a nice lunch today. I could've gone hungry but you made sure i didn't".

Why don't you appreciate the things i do for you? Instead you just raise your hand to me pretending you're going to hit me just because i'm not doing every little thing you want me to do. How come the things i do for you don't suffice? Let me just tell you that i hope you NEVER raise your hand to hit a girl in your life. That's not cool, and it's not even cool to joke about. I know people who have been beaten by their dads or husbands for the same reason you lift your hand to me. It's not cool.

Respect isn't something that comes for free, and it's not something that money can buy, so if you want my respect you have to give it to get it. I'm sick of putting up with all your crap about women being inferior to men or just there to satisfy guys' needs. I'm not your servant and the world doesn't owe you everything you want. You should be grateful for everything you have and especially all the things that other people do for you just because they love you. Don't take for granted everything that you get everyday. You might be cool and popular around the majority of the people at school, but you're not cool to me--you've become just any other guy. And just because you're "ethnic" doesn't mean that it's okay to disrespect me.

If you're not careful and take for granted all the things that you have, eventually disappear and you'll start wishing that you were grateful for them.

MAY

Because it was my birthday and everything was so hektic i didn't get to blog, but i did really want to post something about how awesome my friends are, especially Ragulan who spoiled me more than i can even say. He made me feel like a princess for the whole week and that was so sweet of him to put so much stuff aside that he wanted to do just for me to make me happy. I thought that was amazing.

These are my favourite photos from my birthday week :)

Anyway, well today seemed to be somewhat unfulfilling to me. I dunno why. I went through the motions and did everything i usually do but it just didn't seem to fill me up. I find it so weird how people change from a day to day basis and act differently to what they did the previous day. It makes me feel unsettled and to be honest it makes me feel insecure because i'm not good at dealing with change :( It scares me and i tend to think that I'M the reason other people have changed. I don't know. I guess i shouldn't really think that just because people treat me differently from day to day doesn't mean i'm the cause for their change. Oh well. Maybe i'm just overreacting and being complicated because I'm a girl.