This week has been sort of rough i guess. I had my music trial and i think i did well (except for my viva) which is good. I feel so sad because tomorrow Chica is going to be put down because her kidneys are failing and i feel so sad for Gab :( Chica was the best dog and i just hope that i'll be a good enough friend to Gab.
Sigh. This week seemed to drag on and i was so lonely. I hate weeks like these. I guess i just have to be patient and wait for things to change. I tried hanging out with Alli which was fun but we ended up playing COD and i felt like crap after that (it's so ironic--i value life yet i ruthlessly killed people in the game) so that didn't really go down well, i couldn't bug Gab because she's upset about Chica, and i tried messaging a few people and that didn't really work, which makes me feel like a complete retard. I don't understand why i can't just accept the fact that if people want to talk to me they will and if they're not talking to me now then they obviously have better things to do.
I think one of the problems i have is that when i'm lonely i'm left to think about anything and everything and i tend to mess things up. i had a huge fight with mum yesterday and quite a few little arguments throughout the week. And i had such an unnecessary argument with Ragulan for the past three days. If i had just stayed off facebook and tried to occupy my thoughts with things other than him i wouldn't have hurt so much and probably wouldn't have cracked. Arrgh.
Sometimes i wonder how important i actually am to others and this week just made me wish that i meant something to someone.
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