That's just life. And sometimes it sucks.

Last night i learnt a very valuable lesson. I learnt that gaining the world's "stamp of approval" is so not worth the sadness it brings. I just want to fit in, but now i see that trying to do what everyone else is doing is just going to make me more lonely and more sad. It sucks that i will never make the cut and will always be lonely and have only a few friends, but i guess it's better than trying to be with the wrong crowd.

I feel lonely in this world full of sensual and proud people. I feel like i don't have anyone to turn to. Maybe i should embrace solitude as my companion and put away all the mascara days. But that's difficult to do because i'm so lost and confused right now and all i want is to find my happy place.
To you, my best friend: It kills me to know of your situation and i am filled with compassion at the world you have to live in. I want to help you. I want to help you so badly. I want to make it all go away, but there's only so much i can do. What i fear is that, like me, you try so hard to fit into the crowd; and, like me, you are unsucessful and only end up feeling more lonely and down. I'm sorry i bring you down. If i weren't in the picture, you probably wouldn't have as much trouble with your friends as you do. I'm sorry i'm not cool enough for them. I really wish i could be.
I don't even know what to do with you. i love you with all my heart and i feel like i cant turn around now, because of how things have turned out. But you make me really sad. I can't be with you if you care so much what the wolrd thinks of you. You remind me so much of my dad. And that hurts me a lot.


I feel so lonely in this world filled with millions of people.