Trying to be better

Today on the train home from tutoring i was talking to my friend and she reminded me of something so important that i've seemed to have forgotten by trying to just be accepted by everyone. She told me:

1. That i'm pretty. Those other girls that are higher than me in the "social hierarchy" aren't actually as pretty as everyone thinks they are. They're only pretty because they're popular.

2. That i'm nice. Way too nice. I accept everyone and don't have enemies. Why would people have something against me if i'm just nice to everyone no matter what the situation is. They'll have no reason to hate on me.

3. That i have morals and i'm likeable.

Now i'm not saying these things to brag, but i'll be honest--it was nice to hear those things. It's nice when people reassure you and remind you that you're cool and actually worth something.

Anyway, so back to my point. So my boyfriends group of friends may not really get along with me that smoothly, but i realised tonight that no matter what happens, i shouldn't even worry about them. I should just be me and be nice like i always try to be, because a person who is always nice and respectful will always gain the respect of others. I've gotta stop trying so hard to be like by everyone else, do what they do, say what they say, joke like they joke, just to be accepted. Instead i should be the best person i know how and not be afraid to break away from the mainstream.

And yeah. The guy i'm crazy about does spend an awful lot of time with the most prettiest and smartest girl in the grade, but i'm his right? and she isn't. and i have to get over myself. even though it's really hard because i don't want to have to compete for my man's attention. I just wish that to him i was the most amazing girl in the world and that he wouldn't even THINK about putting other girls first, ever. I feel selfish but seriously, i shouldn't have to compete.

So yeah. I guess what i'm going to strive for is to just be who the Lord wants me to be from now onwards. I've actually spend a very long time working on being nice and kind and helpful and everything good like that. I need to stop thinking so much about boys and more about being the type of person they Lord wants me to be.