Hey you. Please don't fuss over not meeting me at carlo. I was worried about exactly the same thing as you are, and i don't want to press this situation on you. I guess i just wanted you to know that i do want to be your friend--and i'm cool to take it at what ever speed you are comfortable with. I proposed we catch up for two reasons:
Firstly, i know exactly how you're feeling right now. i felt exactly the same way you feel just a year ago. I thought exactly the same things you thought (like the thing about crossing the road and the car coming), i've imagined all of that. So if you ever want to talk, i will be there. If it wasn't for my friend i don't even know if i'd be here right now. so if you need anything, just call. im right here. But if you don't want to that is ay-ok too. no pressure or anything. just sayin'.
The second reason for me proposing we catch up is that recently my relationships with all kinds of people have been failing. There's my friend kate who said we could never be friends like we used to (after i spent 4 months writing her a song and everything) which really hurt. then there's my friend Haroun whom i rejected when he asked me out and then 2 weeks later i went out with his friend. ('twas pretty harsh of me but everyone makes mistakes) so things were awkward between us for the past 6 months. Then there's the guy i dated. Ragulan. He was great. on the surface. But the more we went out and the deeper we got, the more i realised that it wasn't right. He wasn't right. But I had made a mistake. i fell in love. And then i had to break it off. Well things ended badly and i feel like i was the cause of the whole situation and now his always with this other girl in my year and he rarely says hi anymore. He told me we'd still be friends but he lied. oh, he lied. what a douche. I'm so cut. So given all this, i decided that i need to start fixing my relationships with people. I broke the awkwardness between kate and i and went to her house :S and we're talking again. I apologised to Haroun and i told him that i was really stupid and all the rest of it and we both decided that we want to be better friends this year. And Rags. well. His a lost cause. I can't make his decisions for him, so i guess i need to just get over him and make peace with the fact that i wasted 6 months of my life genuinely caring for and loving this guy who would never show me love back, even if he said he did love me. So yeah. i was a bit uneasy about where we stood. i just want to be your friend, so i told myself that i should actually do something about it.
Whenever you wana do something or just chat i'll be here. We don't have to make plans just yet, but please just know that i want to be friends and go back to normal.
No comments:
Post a Comment