Wishing to let go

I'm so confused and hurt right now.
Just when i'm about to give up and lose hope in you, you trick me into thinking that you care. It hurts when you spend the day with me, telling me the secrets behind the name of your email address, or secrets about what goes on in your home and in your world. But then the next day you act as if i'm just any other person. No, wait. let me rephrase: you act as if there are a heap of other people you'd rather talk to and only get to me if no one else is there.
It bugs me when we talk and you tell me that you see me as a friend, but then at school you're always with her and calling out her name. why don't you do that to me too? If she's your friend and i'm your friend, why do you treat us differently...? I don't understand.
You also always used to tell me that you hate it when girls cake their faces with make-up because it hides their true beauty. I really appreciated all those times you told me that and accepted me for not wearing make-up. but why are you hanging out with all the girls who cake their faces with make-up now? I DON'T GET YOU. You're such a hypocrite.

But what really hurts the most is when you kiss me and we have tickle fights on the grass in the park near your house and we sit together watching the sunset, but when we get to school the next day you act as if nothing happened.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME...?

You're like a cat playing with your food. can you hurry up and kill me and just eat me already? I'm sick and tired of you messing with my feelings.

All i want is to make you happy and care about you, but i don't know if it's the right thing to do anymore to just stick around, hoping to change your life and show you that not everything has to be horrible... Things can be different. BETTER. i can show you that... But to be honest, despite what you tell me, i really don't know what you want.
I hate the fact that you know how i feel about you, but you still take advantage of that. What bugs me is how quickly you've gotten over me! How could it be that fast? i thought what we had was real. and you even said it was. You still tell me you love me... but i guess your thoughts and your actions don't quite match up.

You're making me feel vulnerable and insecure, and i hate the person that i'm becoming. i feel like i have to change to fit in. I am changing. and i hate it. no one laughs at my jokes anymore. when people talk to me they say the bear minimum and just treat me like they have to hang out with me just because i'm there.
IF YOU STOPPED SCREWING WITH ME, MAYBE I WOULDN'T FEEL SO ALONE AND UNWANTED.

I don't know how to deal with you, or what to do when i see you, or what to say when i talk to you. I wish you wouldn't change so fast. i'm struggling to keep up. please try to understand how i feel too--it's not all about you.