Anxiety

Horrible day.

I woke up crying this morning. I had a bad dream last night, and what made me feel really sad was the fact that it was so true in real life. It bugs me so much when you're with her and you're so happy and it's all about the laughs and jokes, but then when you're with me it's not as much fun and there's not this natural flow of laughter and there's a thick layer of tension between us. I HATE THAT. I hate that to the core. This amongst other things makes me feel so anxious. This feeling scares me, because i don't know how to stop feeling anxious, i don't know how to sleep, i can't concentrate for long, i can't sit still, it freaks me out! I can't do anything.

You can tell me you love me all you want but it's not going to change anything--I'm still going to be an outcast, i'm still going to be invisible to everyone around me and i'm still not going to make you and everyone else as happy as other people will make them.

KML I hate this //