Wow. Blogging feels so foreign to me right now. My internet is capped until february the eighth, it's so sad! Everyday this week i've felt like blogging but i can't because i have no internet. So i figured that i'd use my sisters while she's out (and i'm pree sure she wont mind). Anyway.
So yeah. This week has been a bit rough for me so far. It's difficult to see the people you love change and treat you differently.
I'm glad that we decided on not dating, but now that your friends influence you to be a certain type of person, i feel a bit intimidated by you. When it was just you and i, you were completely different and i didn't care what i did or said because you'd just laugh at me and then get over it. But with the way your friends shape you, i'm scared to just be myself because i feel like you won't accept me; that you will judge me (like your friends do) and respond in condescending way. I feel like you'll just look down on me. Eeeek. So that's my problem at the moment. Also, i don't mind when you're with girls, but when you go home with one of the prettiest girls in the grade on the bus, i do feel a bit anxious and uneasy. BUT. Give me time--i'll get over it.
Seminary started today and i'm pretty happy to go back. It was so much fun because there were heaps of people! The more people there are the more fun it seems to be (but even if there weren't many people it would still be fine because the lessons are so nice). I also like how our teacher puts so much effort in! She teaches so well. I hope everyone will continue to have the desire to come to seminary, even when it gets cold, because i bet we're going to learn a whole heap of cool stuff this year. I'm really excited to learn of Joseph Smith and gain a testimony of him (because i have a testimony of many things, just not him and the restoration), and hopefully that will prepare me to serve a mission.
Mum's away at the moment. She's somewhere around the world and i miss her. I'll never forget how when i had no friends at all (well, no REAL friends) my mum told me she'd be my best friend. She'd always check up on me and make sure i'm ok and do fun things with me. So i guess i sort of miss her at the moment.
Somedays i get home and i just feel like crying. I have no idea why, but i do. I hope this stage will eventually pass.
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