There has only been one other time where i've felt this upset and dissatisfied in my life--it was a few months before i met you. It's like my life is on replay, like this week has happened before. Only this time you're in the picture.
I can't even begin to describe how sad, confused and alone i feel right now. There aren't words adequate enough to describe grief and discontentment. I'm confused because i know that i made the right decision, but all of a sudden everything in my life has turned on me and become unfulfilling. Why?
And the most annoying part of it all is the fact that no one understands how i feel or why i made the decision i made. This makes me feel so alone and insignificant. I feel so alone that i sit in the shopping centre surrounded by hundreds of people and feel disconnected from it all. I hate this feeling. When i talk to people or do the things i've always loved doing, it only brings a temporary happiness, which gradually fades when i'm once again alone by myself.
There's a hole in my heart, where you used to be, and it's difficult to fill. I guess the hole might get smaller, but it'll always be there--I've never loved someone so much in my whole life. I lament the loss of the one that i love, and nothing can quench it. Each night i cry myself to sleep because i missed you the whole day. And naturally, the bad dreams follow too.
I feel like the biggest retard in the world, i can't believe i jump up every time a car drives past just to see if it's you, or wish it would be you when my phone beeps.
I knew it would be difficult without you, but i honestly didn't think that my whole world would crash when you were taken out of it.
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