I miss you

I miss you.

Today I didn't see you at all, not even at school. but i thought about you. all day.

Everything seems to reminds me of you--doing my maths homework, the tap dripping in my shower, The periodic table on my wall, chem tutoring, everything in strathfield, the big teddy bear you gave me that sits on my bed...

I went down to the Korean shop in my break at tutoring today and i couldn't take it; i just wanted to get out of Strathfield. Everywhere i went reminded me of you.

It seems that you're connected to so many areas of my life, and when you're gone i miss you so much. It's not the same. It hurts.

Today i couldn't wait for tutoring to end--the same feeling i get every thursday night because i get to drive home with you; something i looked forward to every week. But you weren't there today. I wondered if you would come anyway because you couldn't stand the thought of me taking the train home at night in a shifty area. I wondered but didn't count on it. I felt so anxious on the train home, it was the longest ride, it seemed like forever. I thought about you the whole drive home, and i wondered if you'd be thinking of me too.

I don't quite know how to express my feelings. There seem to be no words adequate enough. I hurt in a way i don't even know how to describe, which does frustrate me to some extent. But all i hope is that these feelings will pass, because i'm falling apart inside.